BunnyChow Card #6:
8 Dec 2018:
Proposing marriage can be dangerous.
Even though I’ve been married for a couple of decades now, I learned something new this week. What can I say, I’m a slow learner 🙁
I was scanning my Twitter feed when an urgent tweet caught my eye. The NYPD was searching for a couple who were caught on camera in Times Square.
On the video the man is seen going down on one knee, then on both knees and then lying fully prone on the yucky pavement in the middle of Time Square.
Apparently, he had proposed, the NYPD was not sure if she said yes, and then, maybe from sheer nerves, the poor guy dropped the ring down a drain. He then went down on both knees to look into the murky depths of NYC, and then he went fully prone to catch a glimpse of the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles and Splinter.
I laughed so hard at this little escapade. It’s like the ultimate ‘oops’ scenario.
The good Samaritan NYPD retrieved the ring and resorted to Twitter to find the couple.
But some marriage proposals can be really hazardous. A few months ago a random photographer caught a marriage proposal happening on Taft Point, in Yosemite National Park.
Some not-so-fun facts about Yosemite: 1) Taft Point is at an elevation of 7,500 feet and very recently an unlucky couple got too close to the edge and fell to their deaths 2) a sign posted at Glacier Point in Yosemite says, “It is 3,000 feet to the bottom and no undertaker to meet you. Take no chances.” 3) Michael Ghiglieri, an ecologist, has documented the nearly 900 fatalities in Yosemite’s 156 years of recorded history.
Now why in the name of sweet baby Ganesh would you go down on one knee, look up to be half blinded by the sun (and the face of your loved one), and propose marriage on the edge of a precipice. I mean marriage itself is a life and death sport people. Why add to it.
Luckily this couple survived and the photographer found them through Twitter.
This is my advice to any young man/woman considering proposing marriage to his/her sweetheart. Book a table at the best restaurant you can afford, arrange the kitchen staff to make you a dessert with the words ‘will you marry me’ on it. (Tip: they’ll usually do it for free. Tip 2: To avoid spelling errors do not ask them to add said loved one’s name to the message). Ply your loved one with the most expensive alcohol you can afford, ask for the dessert to be brought out, take out the ring (still in box) from your pocket. Do not go down on a knee, I repeat, no knee. While seated take her/his hands in yours and propose. While seated.
Under no circumstance hide the ring INSIDE the dessert. She/he is likely to swallow it. I’ll remind you, average bowel transit time from M2A (mouth to anus) is 12-14 hours. An interminable wait.